Monday, November 3, 2008

Improvement upon the seige cannon

Here we render unto you an improvement upon the siege cannon. This weapon is designed for attacking a fortified structure.

Similar in appearance to the cannon, this weapon shoots adult male humans who spit grenades out of their mouths.

The man is fired into the fortification, preferably over any walls and into the courtyard of the structure. The man is generated at the moment of firing with a fairly advanced conciousness. It varies from man to man what is considered during their breif existence, but when they impact, they invariably think, as they die, "i might as well spit a[nother] grenade out of my mouth."
They are always killed by the grenade explosion, and the grenade itself is capable of doing damage to anything it lands near. One of the main effects of this weapon, however, is the psychological impact upon whomever the weapon is being employed.

Upon witnessing the device and its aftermath, an attackee will be terrified that whomsoever is attacking them launches men who can spit grenades and then themselves explode.

It is the hope of the attacker that this will hasten surrender.

There was a time when the men were spawned before battle, so that they could be baptized and made to feel earthly pleasures before their launching, but the men were very prone to spitting grenades directly upwards, and having the grenades hit them on the head. They would complain that the grenades were heavy when they struck them on the head, and then would be exploded by the grenade.

For this reason, most operators of the cannon stopped this practice.

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