On the Improvement of Education

It is well known that the increased use of libraries increases the average intelligence of the surrounding community. Also, Librarians are arguably the best way to access knowledge inside of a library. Thus, the more a community uses the Librarians, the greater the increase in average intelligence will be. However, it is also well known that Librarians are generally left unused for their most advantageous reasons. People would much rather browse or check a computer to find things in a library. We offer a method for the increased usage of Librarians.

First, the Library would be a Labyrinth. This would mean that there would be Minotaur(s) residing within the library, but it would also mean the inclusion of David Bowie in the library's staff. When one is using the Labyrary, they will be approached by a Minotaur and be asked scarily if they require assistance. The library user may be frightened, but also they might begin to utilize the usual tactics of avoiding a Librarian. During this, David Bowie would arrive. He would then ask if the user required any assistance, to which the user would always acquiesce: it is David Bowie, after all. Then David would inform the user that the Librarian would gladly assist them, and David would leave. Then, the user, out of fright and propriety, would accept the help of the Minotaur, and learn how helpful Librarians could be.